'Without Me' Remix - Rap Battle for the Net
26 Dec 2017 | Categories: Writing | Tags: net-neutrality writing funThis month I spent a lot of time working on a small pet project: I wrote, recorded, and published a rap on YouTube.
It’s a remix of Eminem’s 2002 hip-hop hit ‘Without Me.’ That’s the one where he says:
| So the FCC won’t let me be |
| Or let me be me, so let me see |
| They try to shut me down on MTV |
| But it feels so empty without me |
My remix is an abridged rewrite that calls listeners to action in defense of Net Neutrality.
And, yes. It’s every bit as cringey as you might expect.
My mom, sister, and I used to jam out to Eminem on the daily after school. Spitting fire in the backseat of my mom’s old sedan, I used to think we three kept up with Marshall Mathers pretty well. And maybe we did. But as a 26 year old with some embarassing audio files saved on her computer - early solo recordings of my remix, beatless, bumbling abominations - I suspect that 10-year-old me wasn’t as hot as she thought.
It took about 25 hours of recording, editing, and rerecording to finally produce audio that didn’t leave me feeling disappointed. You will find no great musical talent in this rap, but I hope you will enjoy the lyrical rewrite. It’s a relief to finally finish; I had this song stuck in my head for weeks.
If you have any interest in hearing the final product, here’s the link to the YouTube video. You can find the lyrics at the bottom of this post!
Fair warning: these lyrics over-simplify the issue of Net Neutrality, to be sure. You can find links to informational resources (including sources that speak out against Net Neutrality) in the video’s description. You can also go to battleforthenet.com for tons of information and easy access to your representative’s contact information (in case you feel moved to give them your two cents).
| ‘Without Me’ Remix for the Net by Beth Watson |
|---|
| Time to fight! Neutral net, no limits |
| Too many politicians sellin outcha web rights, |
| outcha web rights, outcha web rights |
| Too many politicians sellin outcha web rights, |
| outcha web rights, outcha web rights |
| Net net net, net net net, net net net |
| Neutral Net |
| Net net net, net net net |
| They’re creating a monster, FCC don’t wants a |
| Free net no more, they want power for restrictin’ |
| The internet. That money that you’ll give em? |
| Not a little green. Here’s the real kicker |
| You pay cash for a site to load quicker |
| Don’t be shocked that it’s blocked when Comcast can lock it |
| Why is government not cooperating |
| When we say we don’t like how they’re operating? |
| Opposed it this long, don’t stop debating |
| A free net is on the line, Pai is confiscating |
| The way that he does his job is shady |
| And his lack of compassion’s discombobulating |
| The FCC must keep it free |
| Let free mean free, like liberty |
| They try to shut us out, won’t hear our plea |
| Tell your rep to keep the free web free |
| So come on fight! Tell em it ain’t right |
| Fingertips or your lips join the battle for bits |
| And hold steady, ‘cause this is about to get heavy |
| Prepare for hella lawsuits to keep the net free |
| This is a risk to our net that’s free |
| So everybody, help your rep see |
| Shame it’s even a controversy |
| It’s an essential utility |
| I said there’s a risk to our net that’s free |
| So everybody, make your rep see |
| Shame it’s even a controversy |
| It’s an essential utility |
| Republicans, Dems feeling rebellious |
| Embarrassed representatives would sell out for all this |
| We start feeling like democracy’s hopeless |
| Butcha gotta be that someone on a mission who yells “Glitch!” |
| A visionary whose vision is scary |
| Ajit’s revolution is restricting the free net |
| So rebel - don’t let them revel and bask |
| In the fact that Verizon is kissing their ass |
| It’s a disaster. A cash grab of greed |
| Now we’re fighting for protections that were passed in 2015 |
| To take back a free net net net net net net net net |
| Use your freedom now! Grab a phone or computer |
| And light them up, make sure your reps hear ya |
| Get their attention, fight through the winter |
| This internet thing? The best thing - a blessing |
| It’s a freedom in which it’s worth investing |
| Question, do you feel at ease? |
| We need an intervention at the FCC |
| Give your two cents while your two cents is free |
| Be a nuisance in defense of neutrality |
| This is a risk to our net that’s free |
| So everybody, help your rep see |
| Shame it’s even a controversy |
| It’s an essential utility |
| I said There’s a risk to our net that’s free |
| So everybody, help your rep see |
| Shame it’s even a controversy |
| It’s an essential utility |
| This is a risk to our net that’s free |
| So everybody, help your rep see |
| Shame it’s even a controversy |
| It’s an essential utility |
| I said There’s a risk to our net that’s free |
| So everybody, help your rep see |
| Shame it’s even a controversy |
| It’s an essential utility |